Scare Package Blu-ray Review

Don’t open this package.
“Scare Package” is a new 2020 horror anthology movie that features 8 shorts directed by different filmmakers (most of which have a comedic bent). So how is this particular horror flick framed? Allow me to explain.
The central story is the Aaron B. Koontz written and directed “Rad Chad’s Horror Emporium” which centers around the titular video store owner. Chad’s store struggles in the current environment and he only seems to get 1 customer (Sam) who wants to become an employee. Chad ends up hiring someone else (Hawn) instead. Later on, this story morphs into the closing segment titled “Horror Hypothesis” but no spoilers about that one.
As for the other segments, there’s writer/director Emily Hagin’s “Cold Open” which follows an unhappy actor wanting a real character, an outdoor outing gone awry in “One Time In The Woods” (written and directed by Chris McInroy), a husband support group story with a twist in Noah Segan’s “M.I.S.T.E.R.” (which was co-scripted by Frank Garcia-Hejl), a stolen lollipop with bad side effects in the Courtney and Hillary Andujar written and directed “Girls Night Out Of Body,” the slasher killer spoof “The Night He Came Back Again! Part IV: The Final Kill” (written and directed by Anthony Cousins), and writer/director Baron Vaughn’s ultra weird “So Much To Do” which involves a forehead symbol, TV spoilers, and smoke.
As I’ve mentioned on this site before, I’ve been a longtime fan of horror anthology films. In fact, some of my all-time favorite horror films are in this subgenre such as “Creepshow.” With that said, I will fully admit there are plenty of horror anthology films that fall flat and “Scare Package” is one such dud.
On paper, “Scare Package” sounds like, well, the complete package. It’s an anthology film with horror and comedy, plenty of gore, talented artists like Baron Vaughn and Noah Segan, a Joe Bob Briggs cameo, and a video store wrap-around. Alas, not a single segment works here. This low-budget indie tries desperately to be clever, meta, funny, and original, but it comes across as tired, unfunny, and in some cases, poorly plotted. The playful pokes at horror formula are stale and uninspired and the original takes are rushed and underdeveloped. If you’re a horror fan, you’ve seen comedic stories about killers that won’t die and “transformations” done better in other places before.
There are a few performances that make the film at least tolerable. First and foremost, the surprise Joe Bob Briggs cameo is the best part of the entire film. I only wish he was in it more. Secondly, Jeremy King (Chad) and Byron Brown (Sam) are the best characters in all of the stories. If the movie had just been about them, it would have been far more engaging than what we got.
Video/Audio:
Presentation: 2:1 and 1.78:1 1080p. How does it look? Low budget aside, the hi-def transfer looks clean.
Audio Tracks: 5.1 DTS-HD MA. How does it sound? It’s not the most layered track but it does the job.
Extras:
* A bonus segment titled “Locker Room Z” about a locker room with zombies.
* “Rad Chad’s Rad Ad”- A faux ad for the video store
* A 5 ½ minute blooper reel
* “Original Not-As-Good Ending”
* An informative commentary by Aaron Koontz and Cameron Burns
* The best thing about this entire disc is that viewers can watch the full “The Last Drive-In With Joe Bob Briggs” episode of “Scare Package.” Great show on Shudder! Speaking of which, this disc comes with a free 30 day trial code for Shudder.
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